Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Contemplation about Graduation

I assume that most of you know but perhaps you don't that I have been working towards my Masters in Business Adminstration for the last two years. Technically I began working towards it before AnnMarie was born by taking classes to get in the program, so I suppose I have been going to class for 3 years, but whose counting right?

Well, I am officially graduating December the 10 at 2:00 pm if anyone would like to come. I went to classes for so long and have not had to go since late August. I kind of felt like I was on a Summer break (which by the way I never had) and I am just waiting to go back to class. But in reality I don't have to go back to class....I am done. This is such a foreign concept to me and it is really just now beginning to hit me what I have done. Part of me is saying....NO.....I don't want to be done. I really do enjoy the classes and the interaction with other working adults that are similar to me with families and just trying to better themselves. (And who in their right mind wants to start paying back those school loans?????) But then the other part of me is saying whew....thank goodness I don't have to sacrifice all of the time away from the family or worry about how much homework I can get done after the kids go to bed.

Needless to say I find myself in this really strange moment. I don't know how to handle myself or really know what to experience. I know I should be really excited and somewhere deep down I think I am. But I am also scared. I mean, why in the world did I get my MBA? Where has this stage of my life led me to and am I going to be ready to go through those doors when they are opened? So far all doors I have shoved against have remained sealed shut....which in so many ways I am thankful but beaten. I told our small group I know the good Lord has prepared a time and purpose for everything and that He loves to teach patience. But that I was also wondering if I had done this all for myself and not Him and that He could lead me into a complete different direction. At this point I am trying to be still and quiet and learn how to patiently wait.

What a load to unleash but I think I needed to say this about ten times for everything to sink in. I am graduating. With a Masters. And I have learned valuable lessons about the business world and how I can fit better into it. Well, I don't really know where I fit into it but at least I know it is an option. And the most important lesson I have learned so far is I will never be done learning about what God has in store for me. He will reveal His plan when He sees fit and I just have to have faith in this promise. I am sure that you have probably experienced something similar and know exactly what I am talking about....care to send some encouraging words of wisdom?

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